Hooky Bobbin'

The Art and Science of Hooky Bobbin'

by Dave Estep

During a heavy snow fall, when all of the roads are covered, the average person will stay inside and curl-up on the couch with a hot cup of Russian Black Spiced Tea and cinnamon stick. Not so, say I. This is an opportunity to experience one of the other winter sports ! There is no requirement for expensive equipment, trendy clothes or costly travel expenses. The only requirement is to have a good pair of hard boots, and gloves. If you feel like a trendy flare to your dress, you can add a colorful scarf and toss one side over your shoulder. If you don't care how you look, you can add goggles. (Goggles will become self evident later ).

The setup:
Choose a place where cars and trucks slow down or come to a stop. It is better if you can grab onto a bumper, when the vehicle only slows to a crawl. After surveying the area of departure, or should I say hooking, hunker-down between some parked cars and wait for the prime vehicle type, a pre-68 Volkswagen; any pick-up, Dodge, Ford or Chevy; or delivery truck. I'll explain the virtues of each. A pre-68 Volkswagen has what is known as "over-rider bars" on their rear bumpers. These bars are of a perfect diameter for gripping, and they are at the best height for the perfect stance during Hooky Bobbin'. You'll have to Hook to the right or the left of center, because of the center exhausts. Pickup trucks have a tail-gate that will conceal the fact that you are attached to their bumper. The same goes for the delivery truck, but they have an innate habit of going from point A to point B much
faster than the rest of the traffic on the road. Only the professional, or expert, brave the back of a delivery truck. Once you resign yourself to hookin' onto the vehicle of your choice, you must adhere to the rules of form and function. You must keep your knees parallel, feet shoulder apart and legs bent, thighs parallel to the ground. The effect is similar to water skiing bare-footed. Now that you are going, what seems faster than you should, you must keep your stance rigid, only allowing your legs to act as shock absorbers. Ensure that you pay attention to what side the exhaust pipe is on the vehicle. The best position is center of the vehicle when going fast, or turning. The curb side or passenger side corner is second best, especially if you are trying to unhook or switch vehicles while in
motion.

With experience, you will be able to predict what vehicle is best for you. Personally, I like people who drive faster than the conditions allow, change lanes often and never pay attention to what's behind them. These guys make for the most exciting candidates for Hookin' and allow one to cram more rides per hour.

The real experience:
Hooky Bobbin', Kanawha City, 1966

…on the slight incline of 29th Street and McCorkle Avenue, in Kanawha City, the traffic was backed-up almost to Noyes Avenue. Most of the cars couldn't get through the intersection fast enough before the light changed. I took my stance behind the last vehicle, a Red Ford Pickup with snow treads. I kept my head well below the tail-gate, so
the driver couldn't see me. Once the truck was underway, I immediately went into my best form. The truck began moving at a slow pace at first, and then steadily increased speed. Obviously to me he was trying to get a good run up the hill in time to take the light across McCorkle. As the Red Pick-up reached the top, he sped across the intersection. The headlights of the cars stopped at the light in both directions revealed my position behind the vehicle.

Officer Daniels was sitting in his cruiser, behind two other cars at the light. As he lit his Old Gold cigarette with his prized Zippo lighter, he spots a speeding Red Pickup truck run through the intersection, just as the light turned green. "Gotcha ," he says to himself. Just as he turns his siren and red "bubblegum machine" on, he notices that a young, white male, approximately 5 feet, 9 inches tall, weighing 130 to 150 pounds is attached to the bumper of the perpetrator's vehicle, as it speeds through the intersection of McCorkle and 29th Street, heading south at a high rate of speed. "What the hell…," officer Daniels says aloud to himself. He turns left over the median and accelerates sideways to the right in pursuit of the Red Pickup.

As the truck sped across the intersection faster and faster, I had to stiffen my stance and grip on the bumper. This guy is really going. When I thought I had the ride of a lifetime, my right foot dragged across an exposed iron manhole cover, in the middle of the intersection. Because an iron manhole cover is heated from below by the sewer system, there was absolutely no snow on it. The friction of my boot against the iron pulled my legs out from under me. I am now prone with my arms fully extended, being dragged across the intersection at 30 to 35 miles per hour.

I hung on for dear life until the truck entered the other side. When we past a series of parked cars, I let go of the bumper and slid underneath a '59 Buick Roadmaster parked along the curb. I laid quiet for a few moments when
Officer Daniels zooms by and pulls the Red Pickup over. "Turn the truck off and get out of the vehicle," Daniels demands, pointing at the man in the truck.

"What's all the fuss about, Officer," the man asks as he exits the pickup. "Don't move! Where's the kid," he asks. "What kid !? There's no kid, you can look for yourself," the perpetrator says, pointing inside his truck. "The kid that was on the back of you truck!" "What !?" he says, as he walks toward the rear, looking for a kid behind his truck..…

I watched this going on from under the car for a few minutes longer, and then crawling backwards, I made my way on the far side of the cars, until I was far enough away to walk erect, acting as though I wasn't involved, just passing by.

Stealth and agility play a big part in Hooky Bobbin'….true story……

Last Modified: 02/07/2010